The Most Functional English Word

Well, it's shit ... that's right , shit!
Shit may just be the most functional word in the English language.

You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, forget shit, and tell others to eat shit.

Some people know their shit, while others can't tell the difference between shit and shineola.


There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is bull shit, horse shit, and chicken shit.


You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit, or duck when the shit hits the fan.

You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.

You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than shit, and some days are just plain shitty.

Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and there are times when you feel like shit.


You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, the wrong shit or a lot of weird shit.


You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself up shit creek without a paddle.

Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times you fall in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.

When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the basic building block of the English language.

And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!!

You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if you don't give a shit!

Well, Shit, it's time for me to go. Just wanted you to know that I do give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of shit. But, if you happened to catch a load of shit from some shit-head........

Well, Shit Happens!!!

The Geography Of People

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half
discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe,
well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot,
relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.

Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently
aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.

Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain,
with a glorious and all conquering past.

Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been
through war and doesn't make the same mistakes
twice, takes care of business.

Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada,
self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.

After 70, she becomes Tibet, wildly beautiful,
with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the
ages...only those with an adventurous spirit and a
thirst for spiritual knowledge visit there.

THE GEOGRAPHY OF A MAN

Between 1 and 70, a man is like Iran,
Ruled by Nuts.